Sixintheworld.com

Five months ago Anne and I talked about two non-travel posts that would be a little deeper and more introspective than our normal posts. The first went up when we got to China, so it is only appropriate I get the second one up in India. China and India have been the two biggest unknowns for us. They were the most intimidating and probably caused us to think the most about why we were taking this trip. There is nothing like a little fear to stir up some deep musings.

Top 6 lessons we want the family to learn on the trip and how we apply those lessons (and because I can’t make it through a January without doing some kind of performance review, I will also include a grade on how we are doing)

1. It’s a small world and we are all brothers and sisters
Application – Obtain a love of and sense of responsibility for all people in the world.

Status – I would grade us a A- on this one. During our time in Australia and New Zealand we didn’t make much progress on this goal, but traveling around China, Southeast Asia and now India we have given ourselves much more opportunity to learn this lesson. We have met people from all over the world, we have made friends with locals and travelers alike. We have had to be comfortable and supportive in situations where people think differently, where people look differently, and where people’s goals and opportunities are radically different from our own. We have also gained a much greater understanding of the day to day reality of people in multiple countries which are much less fortunate than our own. We have been surprised how small things can make a big difference. Small amounts of money can make huge differences in people’s lives. Small acts of friendship can go a long way. For example, it has been hard on Asher as her blond hair gets her noticed everywhere we go. In some countries she has been such a novelty that we’ve had to plan extra time just to get from point A to point B because so many people want to take their picture with her. As a family we decided to not get angry or dismissive, but rather to indulge people’s curiosity, smile, and allow them to pull Asher or the boys into their pictures. We learned how letting people practice their English on us helps prepare them for a better future. I have been proud of the kids’ reactions to situations where we have to think about others. We’ve discussed many of the world’s major problems, such as pollution, poverty, sickness, lack of employment and education, and health issues. We’ve exposed them to people and ideas that are trying to fix these problems. Hopefully our actions will back up our discussions and the seeds we are planting today will grow into action as our children continue to grow.

2. Family first – Grow together, play together, work together
Application – Create memories to share forever and look for ways to help one another

Status – This is a tricky one. I see all the good the trip has created, but I also see the tension and bickering which come from 24/7 companionship. I would give us another A- and ignore the bickering: what family doesn’t bicker? In New Zealand and Australia the kids had to come to grips with the fact that their only playmates for the next year happened to share the same DNA. They found innovative ways to play together and to bridge the age gaps between them. The relationships between the children are all much stronger than when we left and Dax is much more a part of Kieran and Asher’s lives. As the trip has progressed the number of shared experiences and things to joke and reminisce about has grown exponentionally. Some of these memories are the big ones you would expect–climbing the Great Wall, Zorbing in New Zealand, riding elephants in Thailand. Some come from being part of another culture such as visiting Richard’s house in Australia, crossing the street through a sea of motorbikes in Hanoi, or sharing dinner with new friends in Beijing. But even the smallest experiences are rich with inside jokes which will prove fodder for lifetime of family laughter. The kids’ camaraderie is enhanced by the added responsibility the big ones–Dax and McKane–have taken to look after the little ones–Kieran and Asher. McKane is especially attentive to the whereabouts and status of each family member. So the bottom line is although we still have our moments of frustration, the good is far outweighing the bad and the family is coming together as a result of the trip.

3 Perseverance
Application – When difficult things happen–such as injury, sickness, lost items, or money problems–we buckle down and get to the next good thing
Grade: B

I put this goal in to remind us to keep going if things ever became really tough. They haven’t been tough yet and hopefully they won’t be, so this goal may have to wait until after the trip. We haven’t had too many trials or concerns so far. Most of the problems have been small, like broken computer cords or lost iPods or silk sacks. There is still room for improvement sice these small things often cause us too much mental anguish. The power cord we left in a hotel in Coff’s Harbor, Australia is gone (the hotel went out of business); we will never see the bag we left in the taxi in Xi’an again. So just as with life at home, we still need to learn to put things in perspective and not sweat the small stuff.

4 Hard things are good things
Application – Get out of your comfort zone; gain a sense of accomplishment from conquering challenges
Grade: A

As I mentioned above, we haven’t had any big trials to date, but we’ve done a great job of throwing everyone out of their comfort zones. Whenever we’ve become comfortable in a culture, it is usually time to leave. When we were in Saigon, I hit a wall. After figuring out our rhythm, I was ready to set up camp. I didn’t care if we missed a couple other countries. I was tired and at that point Vietnam was becoming easy. Anne did not indulge me, and we pushed on up the Mekong to Cambodia. A similar thing happened in Thailand, and again thanks to the coercion of my wife, we pushed on to Laos. I am glad we did. Each of us has had hard things: Kieran the food, McKane the languages, Anne the pollution, Tom the smells, Dax the missing of friends, and Asher the constant grabbing and touching from foreigners, but nothing has slowed us down.

5 Gratitude
Application – Less focus on stuff and money and an increased spiritual focus that comes from being grateful
Grade: B+

In deciding to take this trip and spend a hefty chunk of our savings, Anne and I took great strides toward focusing more on experiences and less on material goods. Anne tried to simplify at home and minimize the “stuff” we left behind and I acknowledged that a pause in earning was an acceptable career move. Eleven months of living out of backpacks and buying only what we need to get by–cookies, pens, memory cards–seemed an enticing alternative to maintaining a house, a few cars, and busy schedules. We’ve found a great sense of liberation in our decreased consumerism and a heightened sense of gratitude for the opportunity to even be on this trip in the first place. (An added benefit is that is makes dealing with souvenir salespeople a no brainer. We simply say, “No thanks, it won’t fit in my backpack.”)

This one has been much harder for the kids and admittedly is a lot to ask from children. Dax has excelled, contenting himself with a new pair of iPod headphones and a few T-shirts over the past 5 months. The younger ones still want to buy toys and tchotchkes everywhere we go and struggle at sharing the few treasures they brought along. Our strategy has been to give them a small allowance, which they use on expendable items (which Asia in particular is full of). We’ve left many a 50 cent toy in a hotel room for the maids to take home, a reality they’ve accepted but which doesn’t prevent them from wanting something new at the next stop.

But we have nearly broken that cycle and are thinking less about what is the next big thing is we need to acquire, although a “pool table” does come up once in a while. We have become much more focused on experiences rather than stuff. And the family is also grateful daily for these experiences. Perhaps seeing God’s creations and spending so much time meeting His people everywhere just lends itself to gratitude much more than a new car, computer, or plaything. We have created a great foundation for gratitude but we still have a ways to go.

6 Gain a zeal for tackling all the world has to offer. (sights, sounds, people, smells, tastes, etc.)
Application: Purely loving the world and embracing all it has to offer

Grade: C

This is our stretch goal. If we only had the big boys, I think we could have done well on this one, but we have to be much more tempered in our adventure and zeal with a 4 and 6 (now 7) year old. I realize I am a hard grader on this one. We have made progress and accomplished much trying to cram a lifetime of travel into one year, but there is still much more we could do. After 5 months of traveling, we have days when one or more of us will sit on the bed and say, “I don’t want to go.” Most activities have one or two detractors who would rather be doing something else, like watching TV or playing computer games. We sometimes indulge those interests–Anne would say too often. We should make more progress on this goal over the second half of the trip as the country count goes up and we have fewer opportunities for such distractions.

For those who are new readers, we don’t digress like this often. We will be back to our normal travel postings in the next day or two. India is giving us plenty to write about.

Technorati Tags: Australia, China, Goals, New Zealand, Nonprofit, Rising Star Outreach, Rising Star Outreach, Round the world, Round-the-world, RTW

This is one of two philosophical posts I have been thinking about since we decided to take this trip. I could have written them as two of our first entries, but I decided to post them when our travel train had a full head of steam. After three countries and a little time in China, I think the boilers are on high. We might even be getting to the point where this has become a lifestyle and not a vacation.

During the months leading up to our trip, we talked to a lot of people about what we were doing. Their responses fell mostly into two categories. The first group of people thought, “How wonderful,” and joked about joining us in one capacity or another. The second group gave us mystified looks and bluntly asked, “Why?” In both groups, I am sure there is still a bit of wonderment, a “why this?” or “why now?” I will admit the timing could have been better, but it also could have been a whole lot worse. Anne and I have been talking about doing something like this for years. It was often one of those late night subjects and was usually spawned by the discovery of a family, individual, or couple who had decided to travel around the world. We would talk about it, mention places we wanted to go, and let it pass into the realm of dreams. However last year was a pivotal time in our lives. A confluence of occurrences drove home three very important lessons and pushed me to take this trip and take it now.

The first happened about a year ago, when good friends of ours lost their 16 year old son in a car crash. It was a tragic situation for those who knew and loved him, but it was especially hard on our friends, his parents. As they went through the grieving process, they both said things that touched me. They pointed out how fleeting this earthly existence is. Comfortingly, we share a belief in an afterlife where we will see our loved ones again, but that doesn’t take away the pain they suffered as future graduations, marriages, grandchildren, etc. disappeared in a single night. Their response was to glory in the time they had spent with their son and to fondly remember the many vacations they had taken together. The lesson to me was to enjoy the kids more while they’re still young. They grow up quickly and you can never get your time with them back.

The second epiphany happened while I was on a volunteer trip cleaning up New Orleans from the devastation left by Katrina. We spent a couple of weekends working in different areas of Mississippi and New Orleans, removing trees, gutting houses, and trying to lend a hand to those in need. However, it was a single moment on one of these trips that impacted me the most. We were in New Orleans about 10 weeks after the hurricane; some were getting their lives back together. Some restaurants were open, some people were back in their homes. We even stopped to get beignets at Cafe du Monde on the end of our first full day. On the second morning, we were driving into the city to gut a house in the 9th Ward. As we came around a bend on I-10, we could see the Superdome with all its damage on the right and to the left was an equally impressive structure. A large landfill had suddenly appeared just to the side of the city. I had driven the road a few years earlier and knew there had not been a landfill in that location. Then it hit me: that giant landfill with bulldozers running across it had been people’s possessions only 11 weeks before. Many of the people who were now putting their lives back together were doing it without their stuff. As gut wrenching as it was to add people’s wedding albums, family photo albums, and treasured wall hangings to the pile, I knew they would all be fine even in the absence of these keepsakes. For those whose families had lived through that terrifying day, they would pull things together and start over. I then tried to think of how I would fare in similar circumstances. I hope I would be fine without stuff, but my actions reflect a different prioritization. I spend a lot of time acquiring, using, and servicing possessions. My trip to New Orleans drove home to me a very important lesson: stuff is just stuff.

The third thing I learned was fairly common. It is a lesson I know comes with age, but one I had hoped would come decades down the road. In March I had to get my hip replaced. I knew this was coming and had postponed the surgery for a number of years. In preparation, I needed to get a physical to be cleared for surgery. I hadn’t been to a regular doctor for a number of years and did not have a primary physician in Georgia, our residence for almost four years. I found one in the Yellow Pages and went in for a quick check up. He did all the normal tests. My blood pressure was low, my cholesterol good, and my general sense of invincibility–enhanced with with bionic joints–remained in tact. A week after the physical, they called and said there was a problem with my blood. They suggested I go see a very specific hematologist. I quickly looked him up on line and noticed that he was not a hematologist but an oncologist. My mind raced down paths I did not want it to follow. After a week, I got an idea of what had scared my primary doctor. The oncologist decided to run a more thorough series of tests and told me to wait another week. I spent another seven days on the edge of my seat before the oncologist asked me to come back to his office–not the best sign. Fortunately, the only thing broken was the machinery that ran my first blood test. I was cancer and blood disease free. The oncologist was great and told me to try and avoid him for 40 or 50 years. I recognize this is such a minor scare that I hesitated to write about it, but it was the first hit of a one-two punch (the second being complications after surgery) that helped me realize life is both fragile and short. We need do the important things when we can.

In the wake of these three lessons, I felt forced to metaphorically jump out of the plane and spend a year dedicated exclusively to the family. The travel and service will only enhance the experience. Everyone will be out of their comfort zones. Each of us will have only each other. We will need to rely on and enjoy each other much more than we have at any time in our lives.

This year I was given the decision whether or not to do school. Of course I said yes not wanting to just skip a year of school and go back a grade, even though that would put me at the normal age for that level of schooling. So I began my online school courses from BYU. These courses are for the most part o.k. Some are quite good and some are lacking. I have decided to put my top six pros and cons of BYU online onto our website. And yes, this means I am doing school for all of you who thought I wasn’t.

Top Six Pros
1. Freedom. I can do what classes when and where I want.
2. Teachers. I don’t have to put up with some of the inadequacies of some teachers today.
3. The work itself. I can be in charge of what work I’m doing, and there’s not much ‘busy work’ as in school.
4. School Online. My grades are given to me instantly, no more waiting for teachers to grade your tests.
5. Simple easy to use interfaces. The courses are very easy to use. They don’t require knowledge of anything techie.
6. No paper. It’s a miracle, no paper means no heavy books, and no writing by hand. Phew, no more getting hammered for my handwriting.

Top Six Cons
1. Freedom. I can seriously mess myself up. If I don’t do the school, then I don’t progress, and I’m not exactly the most motivated person ever.
2. The courses. They can be good, but some are confusingly written and the tests don’t prepare you for anything you’ll face later in the final.
3. Computers. My entire school livelihood depends on a couple of computers. If they don’t work, no school.
4. Nagging. My parents are ALWAYS nagging me about my school. I know they’re trying to help but enough is enough!
5. Not having internet. If you don’t have internet, you can’t submit tests, which is a problem.
6. No other students. This is the hardest, I am all alone, I don’t have anyone to compare my work to and since I have no one to try and beat I may do worse. There is also no social aspect involved which is very bad.

There you have it, a little insight into my life.

Today we go from being a family who talks about going around the world to a family who is going around the world.

38 hours after leaving Salt Lake we will be landing in Auckland, New Zealand.

Much more to follow…

Technorati Tags: Round the World, Round-the-world, RTW, Salt Lake City

When Brigham Young settled the Salt Lake Valley in 1847, he did it according to a well laid plan. As the leader of hundreds and soon thousands of pioneers, he realized that the urban vision he unfurled would determine the rhythms, patterns, and eventual success of the Utah colony. Building on plans drafted by his predecessor, Joseph Smith, Young designed a city characterized by uniform block and lot sizes and unusually wide (132 feet) streets. The literal and spiritual heart of the city was the site where the temple would be built, and the city’s east/west and north/south avenues were named and numbered based on their proximity to it. As a result, there is no 3rd Avenue or 42nd Street in Salt Lake City, but rather 300 North, 300 South, and 4200 West (I think 4200 East would fall on top of the mountains.) To outsiders, Utah addresses can be confusing. What is “767 West 490 North?” That’s not an address. Surely it must be a setting on a compass or have something to do with longitude and latitude. Once you get used to the grid system, however, it is virtually impossible to get lost and directions are superfluous.

Though Young was faithful to the spirit of Smith’s early design, there was one fascinating element he chose to alter. In building frontier cities, Smith had envisioned city centers comprising residences and public buildings only. Farms were to be located outside the cities and residents could commute back and forth during the day to work them. Whereas the majority of the American west was characterized by individualism, both in spirit and claims to property, Smith’s vision was to build a society based on proximity and shared communal efforts. His outlook was remarkably similar to that of John Oglethorpe, who designed the city of Savannah, Georgia, not only as a haven for ghosts, but as a collection of carefully constructed urban wards, each of which corresponded to outlying farm and garden plots. The Utah landscape presented a unique set of challenges and Young adapted the plan by enlarging lot sizes to create a network of urban farms.

The legacy of Young’s efforts is a state full of grid-based cities, all easy to navigate, but some with bizarre variations in scenery. As cities have grown out of their farm-based origins, they have struggled with zoning. You can’t shut down or kick out the old farmer who still has an orchard and keeps chickens on his property nor can you tell his grandson he can’t build his split-level suburban dream house next door. The result is that many older areas have a schizophrenic character to them. Turn out of the cul-de-sac on which Tom’s parents live and you’ll find a powerful case in point. Here are a few things you can find in a 10 block span:

1. Just five blocks south is UVSC, Utah Valley State College. The school originally started as a small community college and has exploded over the past few decades into a full-fledged four year school granting thousands of degrees each year.

2. Only a few hundred feet from the school is the last remaining basement house on the street. These regional oddities were apparently the residence of choice for people who could afford to build only part of a house. Since you can’t start from the top, they built the basement, slapped a roof on top, and lived underground until their financial prospects brightened. Through bad fortune or the complacency of their owners, many houses never gained the additional stories they were promised. It will be a sad day when this one goes the way of the bulldozer.

An interesting side note here is that on both the Caribbean island of Dominica and the Greek island of Santorini (two of our all-time favorite places), homeowners do start from the top down. They build a skeleton of their future house and fill in the levels as finances and motivation dictate. Greek property owners get a tax break for having at least the beginnings of a building on their lots, so Santorini is littered with vacant concrete structures. Dominicans, on the other hand, actually inhabit their works in progress. It is commonly held logic that it is preferable to live above the debris and noise of construction (think sheetrock falling in your soup), so the top floor is finished first and lower floors in later years.

3. A van that wears clothes. The owner of this meticulously maintained vehicle lovingly dresses and undresses it each day to shield it from the effects of the high desert climate. He has affixed velcro tabs at regular intervals to the body of the van, which he then uses to attach a fascinating variety of fabric panels during the day. In the two months we’ve been here, we’ve only seen the van leave its roadside spot once.

4. A small herd of goats. I’m not sure if the owners are supplying local French restaurants with gourmet cheese or simply keeping this group as pets, but they always make the drive to the gas station (where I fill my jug) more fun.

5. An intense yet oddly beautiful garden. The Beehive is the Utah state symbol because it represents industry and self-sufficiency. Many Utahans interpret these traits literally and maintain vegetable gardens and fruit orchards on their properties. They feast on fresh produce in the summer, can and store the remainder for the winter, and brand themselves prepared for emergencies and disasters.

6. Two guys and a cockatoo. This one speaks for itself.

Technorati Tags: Brigham Young, Dominica, Joseph Smith, Round the World, Round-the-world, RTW, Salt Lake City, Santorini, Savannah, Urban Planning, Utah, UVSC

A friend recently turned me on to a fabulous book by fellow traveler Franz Wisner. In his supremely entertaining memoir, Honeymoon with My Brother, Wisner recalls how he was dumped by his girlfriend of a decade just days before his wedding. Instead of mourning his misfortune, he carried on with his wedding party and took his younger brother, Kurt, on what was supposed to be his honeymoon to Costa Rica. Inspired by his experience in the rainforest and a demotion at work, Wisner quit his job and invited his brother to embark on an extended round the world adventure. They traveled together for two years and learned a lot about foreign lands and each other along the way. Wisner’s witty musings from the road were published in magazines and newspapers during his absence, and upon his return he was offered a book deal with St. Martin’s Press. The book was so successful after being featured on The Today Show and Oprah that St. Martin’s signed the brothers to pen a second book. They take off on another exodus next month.

While Oprah hasn’t come calling yet, we’re hopeful that our adventure will likewise get people excited about travel and the potential it has to bring people together, both as families and as a worldwide community. Though many think we’re simply two fries short of a Happy Meal, we’ve found other kindred spirits in the travel world. Family travel blogger Isaac Sacolick of TripConnect featured us in his most recent post entitled Family of Six Goes on Yearlong Journey Around the World. When he interviewed me, he found our planning fascinating but admitted he’d like to hear how we’re feeling about everything six months from now. He has invited me to post to his blog, so I’ll plan on issuing that report in February. How could I resist a guy who labeled me “chief cool and calm Mom?”

Technorati Tags: Family Travel, Round the World, Round-the-world, RTW, Travel Writing, TripConnect

Our first big event to welcome Tom back to the extended family was a picnic in the park on Saturday. For many this would mean a drive to a nearby patch of city grass or a faraway lake, but in Orem it means a 15-minute ride into Provo Canyon and some of the most spectacular scenery this country has to offer. Just ask Robert Redford. His Sundance Ski Resort sits only a few miles up the road.

The canyon was carved by the Provo River, which alternately babbles and rages from the craggy peaks of the Wasatch Mountains down to the floor of the desert valley below. This erosion was no small feat of nature since the granite rock range averages between 9,000 and 10,000 feet in elevation. The second highest peak is Mount Timpanogas at 11,752 feet, almost every foot of which Dax scaled on an overnight Boy Scout hike last month. (He won’t admit it, but he’s buff.)

Amidst a grove of conifers and their more delicate deciduous cousins, the quaking aspens and cottonwoods, we plopped our group down on the meadow of Canyon Glen Park to soak up the fresh mountain air and unadulterated sunshine. Some reclined on blankets with babies while others chased preschoolers, but the majority engaged in a cutthroat game of the family’s current passion, bocce ball.

Per usual, Uncle Scott and his partner, Grandpa Lou, emerged victorious despite some fierce opposition from the women and children in the group. (OK, so Tom and Uncle Jon weren’t so bad either). I attribute my failure to prevail to my Eastern training in the sport. I have only played bocce in the gentle confines of an Astroturf-covered, board-enclosed court at my mom and stepdad’s retirement community in Florida. This open course, wild Western version is all new to me and I have yet to perfect my technique.

In the dwindling twilight we feasted on hot dogs, pickles, potato salad, and of course, Hostess Ding Dongs, because it’s just not an All-American picnic without a sugar-filled, preservative-laden, plastic-wrapped treat. As the sun went down, we made a final pit stop for the three-year-olds and loaded up the trucks with gear. Our sighs were bittersweet as we trekked back down the canyon: we won’t see these people or this scenery, both of whom we love, for more than a year. What awaits us will no doubt be beautiful and engaging in its own right, but what we leave behind is rich beyond compare.

Technorati Tags: Picnic, Provo Canyon, Canyon Glen Park, Wasatch Range, Round the World, Round-the-world, RTW, Utah

With Tom’s arrival in Utah on Wednesday, we ended a five-week separation of our family. The kids and I are used to Dad being gone periodically–remember we’re using almost one million frequent flier miles, which Tom alone has earned, to fund our round the world plane tickets–but five weeks is extreme. We’ve spent many hours videoconferencing on our computers since mid-July, but an image on a screen is no substitute for the real thing. Just ask the kids. Getting disciplined by a talking head on a monitor you can walk away from is nowhere near as intimidating as looking up into the eyes of a 6′3″ enforcer. As with many families, there is a yin and a yang to ours and without dad we’re a little off balance. Now that he’s with us again, our harmony is restored and we can look forward to all the benefits of life with Tom. The top 6 are as follows:

1. He feeds us. Believe it or not, the kids haven’t eaten since he left in July.

2. He’s the only one who can launch the kids in the pool (or in front of the temple). My 5′2″ frame and little arms just don’t pack enough power to send the little ones spinning and flying through the air.

3. When the kids are in trouble, he can make them laugh and repent of their offenses. I just make them angry.

4. He can fix almost anything that goes wrong with our computers, iPods, or cameras.

5. He’s the only one who can speak a little bit of Mandarin, and that’s going to be important in China.

6. Did I mention he feeds us?

Technorati Tags: Kids, Round the World, Round-the-world, RTW, Togetherness, Yin Yang