Sixintheworld.com

Five months ago Anne and I talked about two non-travel posts that would be a little deeper and more introspective than our normal posts. The first went up when we got to China, so it is only appropriate I get the second one up in India. China and India have been the two biggest unknowns for us. They were the most intimidating and probably caused us to think the most about why we were taking this trip. There is nothing like a little fear to stir up some deep musings.

Top 6 lessons we want the family to learn on the trip and how we apply those lessons (and because I can’t make it through a January without doing some kind of performance review, I will also include a grade on how we are doing)

1. It’s a small world and we are all brothers and sisters
Application - Obtain a love of and sense of responsibility for all people in the world.

Status - I would grade us a A- on this one. During our time in Australia and New Zealand we didn’t make much progress on this goal, but traveling around China, Southeast Asia and now India we have given ourselves much more opportunity to learn this lesson. We have met people from all over the world, we have made friends with locals and travelers alike. We have had to be comfortable and supportive in situations where people think differently, where people look differently, and where people’s goals and opportunities are radically different from our own. We have also gained a much greater understanding of the day to day reality of people in multiple countries which are much less fortunate than our own. We have been surprised how small things can make a big difference. Small amounts of money can make huge differences in people’s lives. Small acts of friendship can go a long way. For example, it has been hard on Asher as her blond hair gets her noticed everywhere we go. In some countries she has been such a novelty that we’ve had to plan extra time just to get from point A to point B because so many people want to take their picture with her. As a family we decided to not get angry or dismissive, but rather to indulge people’s curiosity, smile, and allow them to pull Asher or the boys into their pictures. We learned how letting people practice their English on us helps prepare them for a better future. I have been proud of the kids’ reactions to situations where we have to think about others. We’ve discussed many of the world’s major problems, such as pollution, poverty, sickness, lack of employment and education, and health issues. We’ve exposed them to people and ideas that are trying to fix these problems. Hopefully our actions will back up our discussions and the seeds we are planting today will grow into action as our children continue to grow.

2. Family first - Grow together, play together, work together
Application - Create memories to share forever and look for ways to help one another

Status - This is a tricky one. I see all the good the trip has created, but I also see the tension and bickering which come from 24/7 companionship. I would give us another A- and ignore the bickering: what family doesn’t bicker? In New Zealand and Australia the kids had to come to grips with the fact that their only playmates for the next year happened to share the same DNA. They found innovative ways to play together and to bridge the age gaps between them. The relationships between the children are all much stronger than when we left and Dax is much more a part of Kieran and Asher’s lives. As the trip has progressed the number of shared experiences and things to joke and reminisce about has grown exponentionally. Some of these memories are the big ones you would expect–climbing the Great Wall, Zorbing in New Zealand, riding elephants in Thailand. Some come from being part of another culture such as visiting Richard’s house in Australia, crossing the street through a sea of motorbikes in Hanoi, or sharing dinner with new friends in Beijing. But even the smallest experiences are rich with inside jokes which will prove fodder for lifetime of family laughter. The kids’ camaraderie is enhanced by the added responsibility the big ones–Dax and McKane–have taken to look after the little ones–Kieran and Asher. McKane is especially attentive to the whereabouts and status of each family member. So the bottom line is although we still have our moments of frustration, the good is far outweighing the bad and the family is coming together as a result of the trip.

3 Perseverance
Application - When difficult things happen–such as injury, sickness, lost items, or money problems–we buckle down and get to the next good thing
Grade: B

I put this goal in to remind us to keep going if things ever became really tough. They haven’t been tough yet and hopefully they won’t be, so this goal may have to wait until after the trip. We haven’t had too many trials or concerns so far. Most of the problems have been small, like broken computer cords or lost iPods or silk sacks. There is still room for improvement sice these small things often cause us too much mental anguish. The power cord we left in a hotel in Coff’s Harbor, Australia is gone (the hotel went out of business); we will never see the bag we left in the taxi in Xi’an again. So just as with life at home, we still need to learn to put things in perspective and not sweat the small stuff.

4 Hard things are good things
Application - Get out of your comfort zone; gain a sense of accomplishment from conquering challenges
Grade: A

As I mentioned above, we haven’t had any big trials to date, but we’ve done a great job of throwing everyone out of their comfort zones. Whenever we’ve become comfortable in a culture, it is usually time to leave. When we were in Saigon, I hit a wall. After figuring out our rhythm, I was ready to set up camp. I didn’t care if we missed a couple other countries. I was tired and at that point Vietnam was becoming easy. Anne did not indulge me, and we pushed on up the Mekong to Cambodia. A similar thing happened in Thailand, and again thanks to the coercion of my wife, we pushed on to Laos. I am glad we did. Each of us has had hard things: Kieran the food, McKane the languages, Anne the pollution, Tom the smells, Dax the missing of friends, and Asher the constant grabbing and touching from foreigners, but nothing has slowed us down.

5 Gratitude
Application - Less focus on stuff and money and an increased spiritual focus that comes from being grateful
Grade: B+

In deciding to take this trip and spend a hefty chunk of our savings, Anne and I took great strides toward focusing more on experiences and less on material goods. Anne tried to simplify at home and minimize the “stuff” we left behind and I acknowledged that a pause in earning was an acceptable career move. Eleven months of living out of backpacks and buying only what we need to get by–cookies, pens, memory cards–seemed an enticing alternative to maintaining a house, a few cars, and busy schedules. We’ve found a great sense of liberation in our decreased consumerism and a heightened sense of gratitude for the opportunity to even be on this trip in the first place. (An added benefit is that is makes dealing with souvenir salespeople a no brainer. We simply say, “No thanks, it won’t fit in my backpack.”)

This one has been much harder for the kids and admittedly is a lot to ask from children. Dax has excelled, contenting himself with a new pair of iPod headphones and a few T-shirts over the past 5 months. The younger ones still want to buy toys and tchotchkes everywhere we go and struggle at sharing the few treasures they brought along. Our strategy has been to give them a small allowance, which they use on expendable items (which Asia in particular is full of). We’ve left many a 50 cent toy in a hotel room for the maids to take home, a reality they’ve accepted but which doesn’t prevent them from wanting something new at the next stop.

But we have nearly broken that cycle and are thinking less about what is the next big thing is we need to acquire, although a “pool table” does come up once in a while. We have become much more focused on experiences rather than stuff. And the family is also grateful daily for these experiences. Perhaps seeing God’s creations and spending so much time meeting His people everywhere just lends itself to gratitude much more than a new car, computer, or plaything. We have created a great foundation for gratitude but we still have a ways to go.

6 Gain a zeal for tackling all the world has to offer. (sights, sounds, people, smells, tastes, etc.)
Application: Purely loving the world and embracing all it has to offer

Grade: C

This is our stretch goal. If we only had the big boys, I think we could have done well on this one, but we have to be much more tempered in our adventure and zeal with a 4 and 6 (now 7) year old. I realize I am a hard grader on this one. We have made progress and accomplished much trying to cram a lifetime of travel into one year, but there is still much more we could do. After 5 months of traveling, we have days when one or more of us will sit on the bed and say, “I don’t want to go.” Most activities have one or two detractors who would rather be doing something else, like watching TV or playing computer games. We sometimes indulge those interests–Anne would say too often. We should make more progress on this goal over the second half of the trip as the country count goes up and we have fewer opportunities for such distractions.

For those who are new readers, we don’t digress like this often. We will be back to our normal travel postings in the next day or two. India is giving us plenty to write about.

Technorati Tags: Australia, China, Goals, New Zealand, Nonprofit, Rising Star Outreach, Rising Star Outreach, Round the world, Round-the-world, RTW

Many of you have been begging for more details on what our life is like here in India, especially after we voiced our uncertainty about what to expect. I have a list of about 8 posts I’m working on to explain it all, but we’ve been spending so much time with the kids of RSO, I haven’t had time to complete them. In a nutshell, this place is intense. It’s everything we worried it would be and more: trash everywhere, cows wandering the city streets, people who walk up and stare intensely at our foreign faces, nary a restaurant we feel confident patronizing, poop–human, bovine, and canine–filling the fields and flanking the roadsides, and the worst driving we’ve encountered in our travels at home and abroad.

We are however, deliriously happy and most days forget that much of this exists. This is because we are safely and comfortably ensconced in our life with the children and the staff and have little desire to venture beyond the confines of our immediate environment. The children delight us and sometimes overwhelm us with their affection, while the staff members answer our questions about life in India, take us to crazy Tamil movies, hang out with us in the kitchen at night, and accompany us to church on Sundays. Our days are a blur of activities that can include anything from tutoring the kids in English and the teachers in pronunciation, teaching 20 or so kids how to swim in a nearby pool, playing Simon Says, taking a yoga class with the big kids, and singing good night songs to the little ones with whom we share the house. We’ve visited the faraway site they call “the land” where construction has just begun on the new school buildings, and Tom and Dax went on an even longer trip to take rice and beans to a few of the leper colonies that provide the school’s students. Tom has become the unofficial RSO photographer and is working on a series of staff and student portraits for the school walls.

I should qualify the “comfortable” statement lest you think this is a cakewalk. We still face many challenges in our day-to-day routine. Though it took us more than a week, we finally figured out how to get warm water to the shower (Kieran actually did even when the maintenance people couldn’t). The air conditioning in our room gave out the second day we were here and shows no signs of being repaired. This means we’ve had to learn how to sleep under a ceiling fan in sometimes stifling heat and figured out ways to combat the pervasive and voracious mosquitos who have a penchant for our fair, well-nourished flesh. After about a week of sweating and scratching through the nights and subsequently struggling to stay awake during the days, we hit a groove. We’ve now become accustomed to heat-filled nights and aren’t particularly concerned about the a/c. The irony is the staff here have access to cooled air in their rooms, but choose not to use it. They simply don’t like air conditioning. After so many years of living in the heat, they say it makes them cold. So they keep it turned off at home and bundle up in warm clothing when going to the theater or church where the a/c runs at moderate levels.

Eating, which we usually try to do multiple times each day, presents a particular problem. Normally volunteers come to RSO in large groups, have the kitchen to themselves for breakfast and lunch, and are attended by a cook proficient in Western cuisine in the evenings. We are the only volunteers here and share the kitchen with the school cook who is happy to make extra for us but cannot temper down the spice factor for a few Americans when feeding almost 30 Tamil children. You see the Tamil people like their food hot. Everything contains chile pepper and children here are brought up on fiery hot fare. We tried a few times to share meals with the kids and staff, but quickly learned that Tom is the only one who can stand the heat. It’s become a joke that with each meal we ask, “Spicy?” and the teachers respond, “Not spicy.” One bite is all we need to realize “not spicy” for them is three alarm for us. As a result, we’ve found a few former volunteer-approved restaurants. Traveling to restaurants is such a production, however, (a lot of walking, waiting, and/or trying to flag down auto-rickshaws) that we prefer to eat in. We’ve discovered that the grocery store, which is about 20 minutes away, delivers as does Domino’s and the local fried chicken chain. Even so, unless we cook for ourselves with the limited fare the supermarket stocks, we continue to battle the spicy factor. India it seems is the one place we’ve been that isn’t concerned with Westernizing their culture and this includes their cuisine. KFC and Domino’s are here but they change their menus to suit Indians rather than vice versa. KFC’s drumsticks blow Popeye’s spiciest Cajun offerings away and most pizzas include masala, curry, or some form of subcontinental spices. Spice-subdued northern Indian food remains my favorite cuisine of all, but I readily admit that this southern Indian stuff is kicking my bland American butt.

Working with the students is also a challenge, especially for Kieran and Asher. These kids are so excited about our presence that they literally maul us from the second we enter a room. The four older among us can stay above the fray if we want, but the two little ones are right at ground level and can’t escape the hugs, tugs, and grabbing. After two weeks of our presence, the RSO kids have calmed down a little and we can now manage their affection…slightly. Trying to teach them means channeling all this enthusiasm toward productive ends. They jump up and down and shout “English speaking, English speaking” when it’s their turn to work with us, but quickly lose focus when my hair is there to be braided or Tom and the boys are there to be climbed.

The rewards of spending so much time with these beautiful little people and their caregivers are immense and without a doubt overshadow any discomfort we’re encountering along the way. We’re having so much fun we’re considering staying an extra week and are already thinking about we might return in subsequent years. If we’re not careful and spend too much time soaking up three-year-old’s smiles, we may skip the rest of India altogether. After all, what’s the Taj Majal got to top this?

Technorati Tags: Family travel, India, Round the world, Round-the-world, RTW, Volunteering, Voluntourism

On holidays and saturdays the kids of RSO get to go to the beach. It is a wonderful wide open beach, with just a few differences from your ordinary American beach.

Technorati Tags: Beach, Chennai, Comic, India, Rising Star Outreach, Round the world, Round-the-world, RTW

Most people who know us have some knowledge that Tom, Anne, and their descendants hate musicals. Unconditionally. It is odd then that my mom, McKane and I walked out of a largely musical Tamil movie so happy. It probably wasn’t the movie itself, but the atmosphere and the experience that accounted for our good mood.

One night at the volunteer home, Raja (a boy who recently graduated high school and lives at the home) invited us to go see a Tamil movie with him and some women from the home. We gladly accepted and were soon out the door and on our way to the theatre. We arrived early, an hour early, so we could make sure we got tickets. We bought them and with fifty minutes to spare Raja, McKane, and I headed off to a nearby market to buy some snacks for the movie. On the way Raja explained that the most popular Tamil “hero” (Indians use this term instead of actor) would be starring in the movie we would see and that his movies generally stay in theaters for over a year–that’s right a year. We talked a little about American cinema and who the biggest “heroes” in it were. We returned to the packed theatre parking lot just in time for the movie. We entered the theatre which was quite odd due to the fact that it was extremely long, not so wide, and curved almost like a semi-circle. Raja handed us some pieces of cotton and told us, “The movie can be very loud at times. Put these in your ears!”. As soon as the lights dimmed we knew that this would be just about as different a moviegoing experience from the U.S. as possible.

The names of the directors and actors popped up on the screen and immediately the entire crowd whistled and cheered. When the most famous Tamil actor made his entrance, you couldn’t even hear the extremely loud speakers over the hollers and whistles of excited fans. This continued until all the main characters had appeared. We were thankful when they all had because Indians are very, very good at whistling loudly and annoyingly. The movie started with guess what? A song and dance sequence (the staple of most Indian films)! This was more funny than annoying. After the song, the plot played out before our eyes, but we could hardly understand anything and simply had to guess what was happening with little hints from the few English words thrown in here and there. Raja tried to explain what was going on but the deafening roar of the crowd and the not so good speaker system made it hard to understand what he was saying. So we guessed. The movie was about gangsters and police and as such quite violent. But whereas at home gangster movies are rarely comedies or musicals, this film was both. Between the killing and singing, we noticed many comic antics, most notably from an Indian man who fancied himself a martial arts guru. The movie was a deviation from the typical Hindi script of a poor country girl being saved by a rich Westernized hero and portrayed some dark aspects of Indian society. To put the movie in a nutshell, a gang member meets a Westernized aerobics instructor with whom he falls in love, kills about three hundred guys with his bare fists, changes gangs about three times, kills the largest gang leader in India (also the most popular villain actor in India, hence the loads of cheers), and turns out to be an undercover cop. If it sounds complicated, bear in mind it took the plot about three hours (including an intermission) to unfold.

We left the movie with a better feel not just for Indian movies, but Indian culture in general. Everywhere else we’ve been, entertainment mimics Western, especially American, influences. But India does not conform or try to be ‘western’ like most other nations. India is unique in many ways, from the odd head bobble (looks like they are shaking no, but it actually is just acknowledging yes), to the lunatic driving. From the styles of dress, to the culture, to the movies and the people themselves. India, is India.

Technorati Tags: entertainment, Movies, culture, Tamil

Of all the places we are going to visit in our 11 months on the road, India is the one which inspires the greatest excitement and the greatest fear. We have visited with dozens of travelers who claim it to be both the best and worst of their lifetime travel experience. We know we love the food, but have been warned that if we value our health we can’t eat most of it. We know we love the exotic landmarks and vibrant landscapes, but realize we must brave horrific traffic, seething crowds, and scorching heat to visit them. We know we love the people, but are a little overwhelmed that there are more than a billion of them.

We decided to get our feet wet in the subcontinent by sitting still for three to four weeks in Chennai. This is the site of Rising Star Outreach, a fabulous NGO started by a friend from Atlanta that serves the leprosy-affected of Tamil Nadu. RSO started by administering mobile medical care to local leper colonies but expanded its efforts to include the children of those afflicted by the easily cured but debilitating disease. The prospects for children growing up in the colonies are bleak since they are still ostracized by much of Indian society and truly treated as “untouchables.” Their parents’ ability to feed, clothe, and educate them are limited, and this is where RSO steps in. Currently 66 fortunate children ranging in age from 3 through 10 live in two children’s homes where they are loved, nurtured, and educated by a highly competent, tireless group of devoted men and women.

We are currently sharing a house with 33 of these little cuties–the pre-K and kindergarten students. We had been warned but nothing really prepared us for them. From the second we drove we up, we were bombarded with hugs, squeals of delight, and urgent pleas to hold hands. These beautiful little souls are overflowing with love and eager to share everything they’ve ever learned with us. “Auntie, auntie, look.” “Uncle, watch me.” Language is no barrier. Those whose English is limited, expound in great detail in their native Tamil. The big boys are life-sized jungle gyms and are getting their best workout of the trip dispensing tosses into the air and airplane rides. Kieran and Asher are perfectly sized playmates, who except for their fair complexions, blend right in to this energetic group.

We spent our first morning at the upper school, where the children were feverishly working at clearing a patch of land on the grounds of the neighboring nursery. A British film crew was coming to shoot some footage for a commercial featuring Padma Venkataraman, daughter of a former Indian president, distinguished humanitarian, and dedicated RSO supporter. Because the current school site has no yard, the crew obtained permission from the business next door, a nursery specializing in small bedding plants, to use their lot. There were about 7,834,292 plants that had to be moved in order to accommodate the equipment, so 30 little soldiers went to work, each trying to prove him/herself a harder worker than the next. We wilted quickly in the stifling heat but the children seemed unaffected, racing back and forth, back and forth until the job was done. The only thing that slowed them down was the occasional millipede (or really big centipede…I’m not sure) which elicited screams of terror from the otherwise tireless workers. Apparently while not fatal, these critters deliver a nasty sting that none of the kids was eager to receive. Fortunately, the brave male staff, led by boss Gopi, protected us all by squashing the lightning fast menaces with a stick.

We’ve now been here four days and I’m afraid we’ve fallen in love 66 times over. After all, who could resist faces like these?

Technorati Tags: Chennai, Family travel, India, Leprosy, Rising Star Outreach, Round the world, Round-the-world, RTW, service, Volunteering, Voluntourism

We love Laos and can’t wait to get back someday. Here are a few things we learned while we were there:

1. Just because there’s an “s” at the end of a country’s name doesn’t mean you pronounce it.

2. Never give your kids chocolate milk before taking an 8-hour van ride through the mountains.

3. Do give your kids dramamine before taking an 8-hour van ride through the mountains.

4. Taking a 4- and 6-year-old to the spa with you for a massage is anything but relaxing. Amusing, perhaps, since they view it as getting tickled for an hour, but relaxing, definitely not.

5. If you’re frazzled after your massage with the 4- and 6-year-old, floating in a tube down a lazy river is a perfect stress reliever.

6. This is a place time seems to have forgotten. If you want to capture a little slice of heaven, hurry, because it’s bound to change before too long.

Technorati Tags: Family travel, Laos, Round the world, Round-the-world, RTW

Laos is a quiet, beautiful country that could keep a traveler busy for many weeks. Too bad we only had one. Many people we met trekked on elephants, explored caves, and swam in pools beneath waterfalls. We managed to fit in a crowdpleasing tube trip down the Nam Song River at Vang Vieng, which ranked at the top of everyone’s list. Because it would be boring to have a top 6 list with only one thing in it, we’ve added a few others as well. So here are our favorite activities from our brief visit to lovely little Laos (pronounced without the the “s” by everybody but Americans):

1. Asher — Play with a little Lao girl on the slow boat from Huay Xi to Luang Prabang
2. Kieran — Float in a tube down the Nam Song River
3. McKane — Swing and fling off the rope swings along the Nam Song River
4. Dax — Swing and front/back flip off the rope swings along the Nam Song River
5. Anne — Soak up the spectacular scenery along the Mekong River on the slow boat from Huay Xi to Luang Prabang
6. Tom — Take pictures of ancient temples and pristine mountains, jungles, and rivers

Technorati Tags: Family travel, Laos, Luang Prabang, Mekong River, Rope Swings, Round the world, Round-the-world, RTW, Tubing, Vang Vieng

Much of the world is dirty, and travel through third world countries can prove a rude and uncomfortable awakening to those of us accustomed to regular trash collection, street sweeping, and basic standards of human hygiene. Thus far on our journey, China has taken the prize for dirtiest country, a distinction earned as a result of its race to industrialize rather than the laziness of its people. With the exception of Guilin in the south, every city we visited was covered in a heavy layer of smog and grime. The sidewalks and benches were so filthy I winced whenever the kids touched skin or clothing to them. Avoiding the colossal globs of saliva and phlegm that the Chinese, men and women alike, routinely deposit on all available surfaces became a family game. “Ha, Mom stepped in a loogie!”

Southeast Asia seemed to struggle not so much with grime but with dust. We hit Cambodia and Laos during the dry season when areas that only a month earlier were flooded looked as if they hadn’t seen a drop of water in years. The goods at roadside markets were caked in a thick layer of red earth and our clothing took on the same red sheen after long days of exploring museums and wandering ruins.

We’re headed to India, one of the most densely populated and dirtiest places on the planet. We know it will shock us…we have yet to meet anyone it has not…but we also know that as with any place, we must take the bad to get the good.

It just so happened that the cheapest route to dirty India was through one of the world’s cleanest countries–Singapore. We had only a day and a half there, but it was sufficient to remind us that there are still bastions of civic hygiene on this little ball of dirt we inhabit. Singapore, where chewing gum was once banned and is still not sold, takes everything seriously and simply does not tolerate dirt. Streets gleam, buildings sparkle, and people are impeccably groomed. Some who live there feel the strict imposition of cleanliness is oppressive, but to us it was refreshing, dare I say intoxicating.

Though the monsoon rains kept us from exploring the city on foot, we got beautiful bird’s eye views from our friends’ 20th floor penthouse apartment. Chris, one of Tom’s high school swim teammates, and his lovely Aussie wife, Paula, graciously fed us the last steak and potatoes we will have for the next few months and filled us in on all the particulars of expat life in squeaky clean Singapore. What we found most fascinating about their experience is the seeming lack of borders in their lives. With family and friends all over the world, they held wedding receptions in the US, Italy, and Australia. Through their international union, they’ve endowed their two little girls with the exceptional benefit of triple citizenship–American, Australian, and British (Paula was born in the UK but raised in Australia). Three-year-old Ella is already learning Mandarin at school and might well be fluent by the time her family returns to Australia in a few years. So while we are trying to create a global awareness in our kids by taking a year away from our normal lives, this family achieves the same simply by living theirs day to day!

Thanks, Chris and Paula, for sharing our love of the world and some mighty fine Western cuisine on a rainy Singapore evening. We’ll never forget it! Now it’s time for India.

Technorati Tags: China, Dirt, Family travel, Hygiene, Pollution, Round the world, Round-the-world, RTW, Singapore